Vibrators: Still Taboo - But Actually, Why Are They Good?
Let’s name it: vibrators are still weirdly taboo.
They’re joked about, whispered about, or framed as something you only turn to if your sex life is “broken.” And yet, when you strip away the awkwardness and moral baggage, what you’re left with is something very simple:
Vibration, contact, and connection.
And from a physiological perspective, especially in perimenopause those things matter.
Let us reframe this…
1. Vibration is nervous system input, not just sexual stimulation
Vibration isn’t inherently sexual. It’s a form of sensory input.
In other areas of health, vibration is used to:
• Reduce pain (think physio and pain clinics)
• Regulate the nervous system
• Improve sensory processing
• Support relaxation and muscle release
We don’t find that controversial.
In perimenopause, the nervous system is often more reactive:
• Poor sleep
• Heightened stress response
• “Wired but tired” feelings
• Increased pain sensitivity
Gentle, predictable vibration can activate parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) pathways, reduce stress hormone output, and help calm an over-alert system.
This isn’t indulgence.
It’s physiology.
2. Contact supports blood flow and tissue health
Regular genital stimulation increases:
• Pelvic blood flow
• Oxygen delivery to tissues
• Nerve signalling and responsiveness
When estrogen fluctuates or declines, vaginal and vulval tissues can become:
• Drier
• More fragile
• Less responsive
• More uncomfortable
This can happen even if someone isn’t having penetrative sex or even if they don’t particularly miss sex. Gentle stimulation helps maintain tissue health and sensory feedback.
There is, unfortunately, some truth to the phrase: use it or lose it, not in a sexual performance sense, but in a basic biological one.
3. Connection: re-establishing the brain–body loop
One of the most common things people say in perimenopause isn’t “I’ve lost my libido.”
What does this mean? So many things...
• “I feel disconnected from my body.”
• “I don’t recognise myself.”
• “I feel numb.”
Masturbation, especially solo, pressure-free, expectation-free, can be a way of rebuilding interoception (the ability to notice and feel internal sensations).
This isn’t about trying to want sex.
It’s about reconnecting with sensation, safety, and body trust.
No performance.
No audience.
No obligation.
4. Hormones and neurotransmitters still matter
Arousal and orgasm (but even arousal alone) can stimulate the release of:
• Dopamine (motivation, reward)
• Oxytocin (calming, bonding)
• Endorphins (pain relief, mood support)
• Prolactin (post-orgasm relaxation, sleep support)
There is emerging data showing that regular masturbation in midlife is associated with:
• Improved mood
• Better sleep
• Reduced perceived stress
• Improved sexual function over time
This isn’t a cure-all.
It doesn’t replace hormone therapy, mental health care, or sleep support.
But it can be a small, accessible, supportive input — particularly when hormones feel unpredictable.
5. Why this matters specifically in perimenopause
Clinically, what many people notice is:
• Reduced pelvic tension
• Less vulvovaginal discomfort
• Improved sleep on restless nights
• A sense of “coming back into” their body
• A gentler path back to partnered intimacy — if and when they want that
Important reminders:
• You don’t have to feel horny
• You don’t have to orgasm
• You don’t have to love it every time
This is about input, not outcome.
A different way to think about vibrators
A vibrator isn’t:
• Desperate
• Shameful
• A sign something is wrong
It can be:
• Nervous system support
• Pelvic health maintenance
• Mood and sleep support
• A way of reconnecting with yourself
Pleasure isn’t frivolous. It’s physiological.
And in perimenopause, supporting the body in small, practical, non-judgemental ways often makes far more difference than pushing through or pretending nothing has changed.
Reference:
Health Library
Learn - Pelvic health
